“Think well about what you will say, to whom you will say and when you will say…”

A believer must have intuition and adjust his words according to the person whom he speaks; because words which are good for some people might hurt others. This is why first the psychological state of the listener must be determined and before saying something, two three steps ahead must be calculated. In other words, we should be careful not to say something first which we need to say at the end. People trust and pay attention to such mature and intuitive believers.

This is why the Prophet  would tell people the issues which they will be interested and talk to them according to the level of their comprehension. He  would not use the same language for a bedouin and a competent companion. He  would say simple facts to Bedouins whereas he would state deep spiritual realities to the mature companions.

This is why the Prophet  warned Ibn ‘Abbas رضي الله عنه:

“O Ibn ‘Abbās! Do not speak to people with language they cannot understand; because if you do that, it may lead them to mischief.” (Daylamī, V, 359)

Moulana Rumī قدس سره  advises in this regard that: “Do not sell mirrors in the bazaar of the blind; and do not recite gazelles in the bazaar of the deaf.”

Mature believers first think about if their words will be beneficial, then if their words will cause problems for themselves or for the addressee, they prefer silence. They are also careful about which words they will say and how they will say them.

How nicely Abū Bakr رضي الله عنه warns us in this regard:

“Think well about what you will say, to whom you will say and when you will say…”

 

-An excerpt from “FROM THE EXAMPLARY MANNERS OF THE FRIENDS OF ALLAH”

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