Marriage ceremonies

The marriage ceremony is a means to share the happiness of a marriage with friends and relatives. It also serves as a way to carry out the requirement of publicizing a marriage. In addition, it is also a fine thing to turn such an important institution into an opportunity for joy and entertainment, which are part of our nature.

However, we should remember that ceremonies that are too extravagant, which reach the point of financially devastating the families involved, are never approved by Islam. Islam is a religion that urges moderation even in taking water from a river when performing ablution. It encourages its followers to be frugal. Therefore even if the parties are rich, they should act in consideration of the poor and needy of their community. Turning marriage ceremonies into theatres of ostentation, like many of today’s rich families do, is a manifestation of madness and a proof that Islam is not properly internalized.

Marriage ceremonies should properly be performed with Islamic grace and refinement. They should stay away from every kind of lavishness. People should have modest ceremonies appropriate to their financial situations. But using the event as an opportunity to show off one’s financial status contradicts the object and the spirit of a marriage ceremony.

In particular, to launch such a blessed institution with unlawful acts and customs, such as drinking alcohol, leads people to error and ignorance. Only those marriage gatherings which observe the laws of Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) are blessed places where prayers are accepted. Some types of entertainment are harmless, so long as the men and the women are not mixed. Women can entertain each other and men can do the same among themselves without committing any forbidden act.

Another significant issue is the importance of inviting poor, needy and homeless people to the walima, the marriage feast. This is expressed in the following hadith:

“The worst food is that of a wedding banquet to which only the rich are invited while the poor are not invited. And he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet) disobeys Allah and His Apostle.” (Bukhari, Nikah, 72; Muslim, Nikah, 107. See also Ibn Maja, Nikah, 25)

It should be remembered that the Muslim community receives divine assistance because of the prayers of the weak. Therefore destitute and needy people particularly need to be invited to the walima. On one occasion Moses (peace and blessings be upon him) prayed to Allah the Almighty and asked, “Dear Lord! Where should I look for You?”

Allah the Almighty responded, “Look for Me by the broken hearts.” (Abu Nu`aym, Hilya, II, 364)

The prayers of those who are destitute and have broken hearts are acceptable in the presence of Allah. This is why all Muslims should take care to merit their prayers, especially during those times when we begin an important undertaking like marriage.

AN ENTREATY FOR HELP IN THE COURT OF THE HOLY PROPHET ﷺ

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The Imam of millions of followers of the Hanafi School, Shaykh Imam al-Azam Abu Hanifah (radi Allahu ‘anhu) makes an entreaty for help in the court of the Holy Prophet ﷺ, in ‘Al-Qasidah al-Nau’maniyah fi Madhi Khayr al-Bariyyah’:

يـا أكـرم الثقليـن يـا كنـز الغنـى
O the one! Who is better than all humans and jinns and who is the treasure of Allah

جـد لـي بجـودك و ارضنـي برضـاكـا
Please give me from what Allah has bestowed on you and make me happy like Allah has pleased you

أنـا طامـع بالجـود منـك و لـم يكـن
I am a candidate for your shower of generosity

لأبـي حنيفـة فـي الأنـام سـواكـا
There is no one for Abu Hanifah in the entire creation except you.

How should families take care of disciplining children?

First of all, we should be very clear that children are divine trusts to us and sprout from our own essence. For sensitive souls, the melodies of happiness at home begin with the soothing music of happy children.

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As it is expressed in the traditions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), children are “flowers of Paradise,” “fruit of hearts,” and “divine blessings.” Children are the best blessings of our Lord. How can anyone forget the joy at the birth of a first child? Children’s smiles are like gifts from Paradise. For a mother to discipline, raise and contribute fine children to society is therefore the most honorable of occupations. A mother’s heart is the first school of a child: here the child receives its basic training. In addition, righteous generations raised with great care will be protective shields between their parents and Hellfire. One of the most important duties of parents is to equip their children with Islamic virtues and good character. Yet it is not merely the central duty of parents to raise faithful and upright children: it also is a guarantee of receiving continuous rewards until the end of time.

Children are exceptional fruits of family happiness and a strong connection between the mother and the father. They are the most valuable trusts of Allah to the parents. People’s responsibilities are expressed in the following saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):

All of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges: … a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for his charge; and a woman is guardian of the household of her husband and is responsible for her charge … (Bukhari, Wasaya, 9; Muslim, Imara, 20)

The Qur’an says:

O you who believe! Save yourselves and your fam- ilies from a fire whose fuel is men and stones … (66:6)

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) explains this verse, saying:

Keep them away from committing the things prohibited by Allah the Almighty and encourage them to perform good deeds. That is the way to save them from Hellfire. (Alusi, XXVIII, 156)

Discipline of children should begin with the training of parents; such an important job can only be successfully performed with the benefit of proper training. How can inadequate parents discipline their children? As the poet says,

He, himself, is a dodderer in need of help

How is he supposed to help others?

Thus if child discipline begins starts parent discipline, it will yield more effective results. Again, as it is expressed by the poet Seyri:

Father, pillar of the family, must be upright and strong

Mother, heart of the family, must be a rose, sweet and warm

What kinds of good news have been given by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) about righteous women?

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says:

After mindfulness of Allah, a believer gains nothing better for himself than a pious wife who obeys him when he commands her and pleases him when he looks at her. When he asks her to carry out a task, she is true to him and when he is away she protects her chastity as well as her husband’s property.” (Ibn Maja, Nikah, 5/1857)

A good wife is the one who obeys her husband and is compassionate to her children.

“The whole world is providence and the best provision of the world is a pious woman.” (Muslim, Kitab al- Rada, 64; See also: Nasa`i, Nikah, 15; Ibn Maja, Nikah, 5)

Thawban (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates:

When the verse “…and (as for) those who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in Allah’s way, announce to them a painful chastisement” (9:34) was revealed, we were with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) on an expedition. Some of the Companions said that now that we knew the ruling about gold and silver [we would no longer hoard them, but give them in charity]. We wished we knew what is good for us, so that we could accumulate that instead. Upon hearing this, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The most valuable possessions are a tongue that mentions the names of Allah, a thankful heart and a wife who strengthens the faith of her husband.” (Tirmi- dhi, Tafsir, 9/9)

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A Distant Kashmiri’s Prayer

A Distant Kashmiri’s Prayer
I offer you my prayers
I bow down to you alone
I ask from you in my dua,
For the world’s people and my own.

Listen to me, Almighty,
Listen to me, O Rab!
Let my wishes cross the skies,
And reach you straight above.

My heaven is turning into hell,
My Valley is torn, it bleeds.
My faith overcomes the evil around
Only You could pay some heed.

I see li’l kids afraid of going out,
Or one, praying for her missing friend,
And a mother dying by her son’s corpse,
Or a husband whose tears don’t see an end.

It’s a request, Almighty
I plead to you O Rab
Help the people of my Valley, before
They themselves reach you, above.

Source: A Distant Kashmiri’s Prayer

Balaghal ula bikamaalihi- POEM ABOUT THE MIR’AJ

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Balaghal ula bikamaalihi
He [Muhammad ﷺ ] reached the highest place by his Perfection.

Kasha fad-dujaa bijamaalihi
He removed darkness by his Beauty.

Hasunat jami’u khisaalihi
Beautiful are all his Attainments

Sallu ‘alayhi wa aalihi
Send blessings to Him and his Family

This quatrain (ruba’i – Poem) was written by Shaykh Saadi Shirazi (rahimahu Llah) and is found in the introduction to his “Gulistan”. This most famous (ruba’i – Poem) written by Shaykh Saadi Shirazi (rahimahu Llah) covering the event of Mir’aj of our Beloved Prophet (salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). There is a very interesting event behind this ruba’i, when Shaykh Saadi (rahimahu Llah) wrote this ruba’i he was not getting the last line which would complete the ruba’i and because of this he was not satisfied and was worried, what is lacking, why I’m not unable to complete the last line and in these thought he slept, what Shaykh Saadi (rahimahu Llah) saw was unbelievable.

He found himself at the court of our Beloved Prophet (salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) surrounded by Sahaba Karam (radi Allah ‘anhum). The Prophet (salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked Shaykh Saadi (rahimahu Llah)

what happen why are u worried what has disturb you.

Shaykh Saadi (rahimahu Llah) replied

Ya Rasulullah (salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) I have written a ruba’i in Your praise but I am not getting the last line.

The Beloved Prophet (salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied

Read it here what have u written.

Shaykh Sadi (rahimahu Llah) read the above lines; and got stuck our Beloved Prophet (salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) then completed the ruba’i by saying sallu ‘alayhi wa aalihi (Send blessings to Him and his Family).

Fearing Allah in secret & in public

Allah the Almighty promises Paradise to His servants who fear Him in secret or in public. It is said in the Qur’an:

And as for him who fears to stand in the presence of his Lord and forbids the soul from low desires, then surely the Garden – that is the abode. (Nazi`at, 79/40-41).

And

This is what you were promised: (it is) for everyone who turns frequently (to Allah]) and keeps (His limits), who fears the Beneficent Allah in secret and comes with a penitent heart. (Qaf, 50/32-33).

And

Their sides draw away from (their) beds; they call upon their Lord in fear and in hope, and they spend (benevolently) out of what We have given them. (Sajdah, 32/16).

The nights of the Messengers and Friends of Allah, which they spend in fear of Allah and in hope of His beneficence, are brighter than the day, for their nights are filled with the serenity and spirituality of their prostration in tears.